A Call For Action

One week in October of 2017, a student at a local school committed suicide and a man responsible for a shooting a few hours south of my school was on the run somewhere nearby causing a school lockdown. Unlike 2015, this time I chose to act. I don’t know how to stop depression or prevent shootings, but my brain doesn’t work that way. Instead of considering how to stop bad things, I start pondering how to create good things. I figure out how to get kids to think so we can develop solutions together. If individuals and communities are invested in creating positive change, can there be any time left for anger, worry, fear, stress, depression, or violence?

So the night after the lockdown, I nervously prepared a presentation to share with my physics students the next morning. I guessed at their life goals and questioned the outcomes of these goals. I shared how I would reframe these goals, and encouraged students to pursue my positive vision for the future. I’m 36 years old and my students are 16 and 17, so I was pretty sure my presentation would crash and burn. Their world’s are so different from mine or the one I grew up in, so how could I possibly share a personal perspective following a teen suicide and local shooting that struck a positive cord with my students?

While I anticipated failure, I knew that I had to try something, so I swung for the fences, and it worked! Each of my 4 classes received it slightly differently, but all the responses were very positive. My students were extremely thankful that I was willing to talk to them about these real life struggles. They appreciated that I was willing to take a step back and question what was causing teens to feel unhappy. They were thrilled that I was willing to put their mental wellbeing ahead of their course work, at least for one day. Most importantly, my students learned that I care about them and that I want to help. This was a start. Click the link below to see my presentation.

Presentation Link

The Loving Lives Story Begins in 2015

2.5 years ago, one of my high school students was impacted by a suicide in her family. I was a first year teacher, and I didn’t know what to say or do to support her. The first time I had her in class after the event I asked her how she was doing, she said she was okay, and I nodded in support. Then I thought that the best thing I could do was to help her return to her normal routines. I tried to pretend like nothing was wrong, and that the best path forward was to continue with the school curriculum. What else could I do?

A week later I was talking to a fellow teacher who also had this student, and I asked her opinion of how the student was doing. This teacher had a better relationship with the student, and had learned that none of the student’s teachers were talking to her about it. It seems like we all had come to the same conclusion; It was not our place to get involved with such a personal matter. But then I started to wonder, who was helping this student navigate this difficult time? By not talking to her, were we sending the message that students needed to figure out how to navigate these situations on their own? Was this in the best interest of the students?

This episode has stuck with me over the years. I concluded that I would not force any of my future students to face such a difficult time alone again. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say or if there was a “correct” way to support a grieving student, but if a similar situation ever presented itself, I needed to try to help. I could let the student know they were not alone. I could listen patiently and peacefully as they shared what was on their mind. I could be honest. After this event in 2015, I knew I had failed to meet this challenge successfully. The next time, I vowed that I would try harder. Unfortunately, this was not a one time event.